You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
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I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.