so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
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I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
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In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.