i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
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who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?