I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.