the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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