Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
