do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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