I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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