Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
