Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
