I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
