woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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