you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
