she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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