tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
