direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
