We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
