A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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