I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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