I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize