So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
