I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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