I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
