Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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