you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
