why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
