im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
