The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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