dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
