Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
As shirtless as possible
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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