Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
