He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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