so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize