He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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