im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
