but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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