yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
