I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
