Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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