I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
