hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
