things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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