I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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