I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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