I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
