5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
