How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
