Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
