it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
