she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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