Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize