The maid of honor just puked.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
