i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
