FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
