Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
