I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize