I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize