I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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