11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
