Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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