was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
