OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
