We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
