We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
