I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
