sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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