Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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