why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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