Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
