oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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