I just made out with a guy for $7.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
