Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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